The situation est ‘Chemtrails’

During one of the many long days of filming for ‘A New Life in the Sun’ we experienced last year, I accidentally mentioned the alarming amount of chemtrails being blazed directly over our region.

This was obviously a worry for us all because I had committed to film that there were huge amounts of these sinister spray ups and this would significantly reduce our market for guests. Panicked, when I returned home I conducted a bit of research into ‘chemtrails’ and to my relief found that it is seemingly only Prince (now sadly departed and very unlikely to book on a cycling holiday anyway), Merle Haggard (now also sadly departed during annus horriblis 2016), Vin Diesel (he of the 15 million Fast and Furious films – the anti-cyclist if you will) and Kylie Jenner (who is largely irrelevant to me and therefore not welcome) that have been pedaling this theory. Nothing to panic about then although since their deaths the proper conspiracy theorists have suggested that ‘Chemtrails’ may have had something to do with their untimely demise.

All I know is they make amazing photos when they are cast over our beautiful scenery and I can guarantee that this part of the world is growing exceedingly well (especially the Gaillac wines!), we have no BSE or foot and mouth disease, definitely no Nigel Farage and Top Gear isn’t currently being screened on French TV.